Warning to the Portly Male

We live in a country where our image is the only thing that matters. People resort to any means necessary to look good. No carbs, Jenny Craig, or starvation; these are just some of the many useless diets plaguing this world today. Mostly these sacrifices are done to mimic some celebrity or the for the possibility that a little lump, we call an ab, might just start to show. What they don’t realize is that if they just get their fat ass on the tread mill and stop running to the freezer for that pint of rocky road, they will reach their ideal body in no time. I'll reiterate myself for those who can’t realize what I am getting at. Going to the gym just to do some bench presses to get rid of that spare tire you have underneath your size double D moobs (man boobs) is just not going to cut it. I am very sorry. You can do a million crunches a day, its still gonna take a million more years for people to notice. I'll give you a great diet. Maybe I can make millions. Just eat chicken. There is nothing further to say. EAT JUST CHICKEN, THAT'S IT. Fuck, I can sit here and spit out 500 dishes off the top of my head like Bubba Gump if you want me to, but I'll spare you the insanity.

I was going to get to some sort of point here: For all of you that are trying to get on the right track, and for you idiots, too. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM PROTEIN SHAKES. They are not for you. You don't know how many times I see people do this. If you haven’t realized, on the back of these protein bars and Muscle Milk drinks, there are lists called nutrition facts. You might want to read them. Go under the part that says FAT and SATURATED FAT. If they happen to hit the double digits numbers… not so good. You pretty much negate your time spent in the gym. It’s like the guy who orders a diet coke with his Big Mac extra value meal (And he’s not a diabetic). Another example is the guy who orders a salad for dinner but follows it up with a nice brownie sundae. I sit there and cringe every time I see this. So, if you are one of these people, don’t think you look cool chugging down that protein shake, because you’re not fooling anyone.