Hooray for Pesticides!

According to an article featured in this morning's Metro, the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine has published a study on organic food, with findings that show no significant health benefit to buying/eating organic over conventionally produced foods.

I have to admit, this news made me smirk... just a little bit. Let me tell you about my experience with organic groceries.

So last year, I was at the market picking up a few things to cook for dinner. I wasn't paying attention to the area of the produce section I was in and accidentally grabbed a bunch of organic broccoli instead of the regular old cheap, pesticide ridden stalk. I realized my mistake at the register, but it was already rung and I didn't feel like making a big fuss and going to switch it out. Besides, everyone says organic is better for you, right?

I take my fancy broccoli home and start my dinner prep, my other veggies were all washed and chopped, I'm getting ready to wash and chop the broccoli... singing that Dana Carvey "Choppin' Broccolaaaaay" song, you know... the standard broccoli cooking prep routine. I'm running the broccoli under the water, and I notice a little brown spot on it, so I go to wash it away, but then see another one. And another one... and some non-broccoli matching green ones... and, you see where I'm going with this. After I shattered every window in my apartment building with my blood curdling screams, threw out everything in my kitchen that the broccoli had touched, and took a shower, I went online to research "MASSIVE INSECT INFESTATION IN ORGANIC BROCCOLI" and found out that my broccoli stalk was suffering from Aphid Infestation. All of the organic food sites I came across seemed to think of this as no big deal... "just boil the broccoli in water and then scoop the dead aphids out of the pot" was actually the advice given on one site.

Let me tell you all - I have not bought fresh broccoli since that day. I AM SCARRED. And that's my favorite vegetable!

I would SO MUCH PREFER to wash away some pesticides than to wash away a COLONY OF INSECTS from my food. And what if you're not cooking it right away? What if I'd stuck that shit in my veggie bin with whatever else I'd had in there and THEY'D MIGRATED.

Listen, I have a terrible fear of insects. It's awful. It's irrational. It's not your normal, every day, "eww, a bug," but still, you've gotta admit, this is gross. It's apparently quite common in organic produce and I have actually seen the aphids on more veggies in organic sections of supermarkets since then, too. Give me the chemicals. Spray that shit 'til it glistens and sprouts an arm, but keep the fucking bugs away from me.

I told a few people what had happened and how I'd never buy organic again, and some of them were like "oh yeah, that's normal, but it's so much healthier to eat that way" or "you're swearing off a really healthy alternative because of one bad experience." So this news about it not being such a health benefit after all? Yeah... that's nice to hear. Enjoy your aphid salad, people. I'll be over here, chowing down on my insect free, compound-chemical-bathed greens.