In our first post for the new year, I'd like to bring to your attention a little thing that Duane Reade is doing to NYers. If you're not familiar with Duane Reade, it is a local pharmacy chain here in NYC in the same vain as CVS, Walgreens or Rite Aid. First of all let me say this, because I haven't said it before on Word Vomit, but Duane Reade sucks balls for their new hideous designs. They're logo is wretched and the new color palettes they've introduced makes me want to urinate on the Pantone color book that was given to their graphic designer(s).

With that being said, not only have they introduced pastels of doom, they had the nerve to re-do their Spending Rewards Program. This was the only shining thing about the store. In these uncertain economic times, us NYers have come to rely on DR's rewards system. For every dollar you spend, 1 point is given. For every 100 points you get a, $5 coupon is issued. This was good. Those things came in handy, because you could get about $10 every month or so from DR, if you spent enough and sometimes you could. We've come to rely on them. It was a nice gift. Clearly, they saw this and decided to ruin it. So to pay for their expesnive and sucky store remodeling and to pay those awful graphic designers who changed their look, they had to go say fuck you NY and then proceeded to rape us in the face.

They had a mandatory change to the new RewardsFlex program. So this is how it goes now:

For every dollar you spend, 2 points are given. Pretty cool.

For every 500 points you get, $5 coupon is given out to you. Wait what the fuck?!

I roughly had to spend $100 to get $5 back. Now I have to spend $500 to get $5 back? Are you fucking kidding me? I have to spend $500 in Duane Reade? Best Buy doesn't even have the balls to do that and they sell fucking tvs and other shit!

For once I am utterly appalled by this and I wanted to channel my Jewish brethren and write a stern letter of disapproval and vow never to shop in their store again, but then I said to myself, where the hell will I shop at 1:OOAM when I need something? Fuck. Trapped like mice in a cage. Sneaky bastards. They've cornered me with this horrible points system. Do you know how long you could go before you'd spend $500 in Duane Reade? You could go months before you saw a $5 coupon. I'd rather not use it now.

Thanks very, much Duane Reade. I've never willing gotten raped in the face before until now and I've got to tell you -- if you're gonna be raping people in the face like this was Ozwald Penitentiary at least have the decency to have Christopher Meloni around. Fuckers.

Enough Said!

If you work in the city you must then be aware of all the JCPenney advertisements all over billboards, newspapers etc.. This campaign was created to promote their new and only store inside Manhattan.

Too bad they invested in a poor set of designers.

I don't know what's with Macy's, JCPenney's, Bloomingdale's, and all these large name department stores and their stupidity when hiring designers. Their hiring  process is tedious and long ( Plus, they almost always throw away good talent). You go through 5 or 6 interviews, your portfolio gets thrown to 50 different places. You would expect nothing more than great design.

And yet, you get a good old fashion case of the "WHITE CROTCH DISEASE"

MTA really needs to start outsourcing their poster designs because they're just plain awful. What does this sign even mean?

From what I can make out of it, I see a woman sitting while a giant green monster points at her as if she has committed a horrible crime.

First off, there isn't anyone sitting next to her, so just sit down you idiot. Is she supposed to get up, because your giant ass can't fit in one seat? I always thought, as the man, you should give up your seat to the women. Maybe I missed that email where women have the dick.

Love the fact that they're stressing that this is priority seating for disabled. I never knew gigantism was considered a disability that needs its own special seat.

And give me a break with this "be aware not all disabilities are visible." I think you clearly illustrated the fact that this guy is a giant and uhhhhhh... FUCKING GREEN.

Hey MTA, go back to doing what you do best.

Ripping people off!

For those of you who guessed "the black guy!" congratulations!

Valuable lessons taught at University of Wisconsin: If you don't have diversity, it's okay! You can just Photoshop it in later!

I fucking LOVE IT.

I was walking today to the train and I came upon this eyesore.

And no I'm not talking about Derek Jeter. I'm speaking about the huge piece of poorly written text taken over the middle of this extremely large poster.

The word is That's, not

TH

AT's

why don't you go ahead and add a hyphen, make it look more gaudy.

Also, can someone please tell me what is this advertising?  Baseball? Sports?

Don't bother commenting about the connecting Gatorade poster on the side, I already know about it. If you look at the two posters together, they are separate from each other and if they are supposed to be, then someone did a poor job of blending them together.

Sorry Jete, I love you and all, but this design sucks.

Terrible logo or MOST terrible logo?

Have those Bitch Tits been plaguing your life?

Are you constantly being picked on by Billy the bully?

Are you ashamed that your breasts are bigger than your wife's?

Are babies staring at you with hungry eyes? ( ... I can go all day with these )

Well do I have a solution for you. The Surgical Pavilion Team of New York is ready to suck that fat right out from under that Victoria Secret Push-Up. Hey, did I forget to mention to you that they are "VERY Affordable." That's not coming from my mouth, just read the sign.

You can be just like Mikey and, in a weeks time, have a skilled team of Graphic Designers Photoshop those boobies right away.

Left me be honest with myself for a minute. I'm a terrible speller. I have always been. Plus, my grammar, also under par.

...but for god sakes man, the word is fucking "BIKE."

That's a word you learn first day of kindergarten. Not only did you spell the word wrong, you spelled the word wrong twice in the same sign.

So you have little red blobs hanging out your ass?

Are they painful?

No worries, because I have a solution for you.

Let the IRC Super Soaker take care of them. All you need to do is bend right over and we'll do the rest. Watch as I sandblast those red buggers straight off.